like a needle through the heart

too many things are going on in my mind.. mind and soul is hurting.. why? i am not sure myself.. my feelings are trying to tell me something.. but i don't know what.. either that or i'm in denial.. my heart is telling me something that i cannot withstand.

i need to do something.. need to change something... need to start something.. but which one? this or that might have a different impact. and i don't want the worst impact to my life. i have aysha to think about.

Dear Allah, to you i seek solitude. please give me the strength to endure this phase. i had these feelings before and now again i have to deal with it. i'm sure the feelings will past.. fades away..

a friday away from work

i got food poisoning.. down with diarrhea since yesterday. but somehow today i feel a lot better. thx doc. so while aysha is having fun in her babysitters house. me and hubby went to watch a movie after almost 2 years we did not step into any cinema.. we watch the battleship movie which is great.. the director is the same as transformers so the sound system is really like transformers.

this movie is all about aliensss.. and the navy.. and if i am not mistaken.. it was taken from a game.

battleship movie official site: www.battleshipmovie.com

you can watch the trailer here:

p/s i watched the snow white and the huntsman trailer before the movie starts. now i can't wait to watch another great movie!!!

apdets @ april

i can't say that a lot of things happened this month. mostly is because of my short term memory lost syndrome. but here are the things that happened this month:

1. my hubby is furthering his study in mechatronics engineering. based in kulim kedah. he's going to start in July which is on the fasting month. i guess now my mind is still not understanding the distance between us. i've googled. it going to be 353kms apart! i know it was my decision and suggestion that he further his studies. i was the one who applied for him so i cannot back down now. i want him to be successful in his career. i've made plannings.. i want to go up north every month to spend time with him. we have a relative house in penang so there should be no problems with accomodation. insyaallah, things going to turn out fine.

2. my best buddy alina from high school just gave birth to baby boy name Alif Fahim.Congratulations. Picture coming up soon, only after receiving greenlight from the new parents. quite an experience she had giving birth to Alif. she had trouble with the placenta not coming out after baby's birth. so the dr said to wait for 6 hours. but before the 6th hour, she had a massive bleeding and contractions like she's gonna give birth again so the dr pushed to operating theathre to remove the placenta manually. luckily no surgery involved. if not, she's gonna have some tough time during confinement. apparently, the dr broke her amniotic fluid(not sure correct or not) or air ketuban when she is 3cm dilated and the dr already ask her to push when she is only 5 cm dilated? why? i also don't know. gonna ask my doctor-to-be sister later.

well, i guess that's about it. updates on aysha? she's more talkative now. and i can make sense on what she's saying. now i know she is quite hotheaded just like her abi. i'll list down her vocabulary some other time.

until then.

check-in @ ampang puteri

my dear aysha is having another bout of fever since sunday... started with a cough and blocked nose. it quickly turn into fever. which is quite high.. on monday, the klinik checked her temperature was 101 degress fahrenheit.. the night after that, i tested again and she had a 40 degress celcius temperature. so yesterday, i brought her to ampang puteri and she was warded again for the 2nd time. this time, she have to take iv drip to get her energy back.also, i've found my camera's battery which has been lost for like eternity!!!... aysha pegi sorokkan bawah karpet bilik atoknye.. sampai biler2 pon la tak jumpe kalau tak carik... uhuhu.. now i can start taking photos again.....

Trip to Tasik Perdana

Assalamualaikum... today is a very tiring day... since umi have to work on public holiday, i got bored with nothing fun to do.. so i keep nagging fuang until she brings me somewhere... hehe so i get to go to tasik perdana with my grandparents; fuang and atok itam... cekda just tagged along... so lazy to story mory... please enjoy the pics of me that some paparazzi shot while i was there....

update

This week, I am busy working during Chinese New Year… and helping out my sis in law’s wedding preparation for this coming Friday. I’m taking leave on Friday for the solemnization. It is a small wedding but I’m looking forward to it. aysha’s coming along too.. She’s getting much cheekier and full of babbles. She’ll get grumpy if she’s tired or wants something she cannot have. Hopefully there will be lots of her pictures that I can post here.

Sad news: my bestmate’s husband recently passed away. They were only married for 3 months and just gotten back from honeymoon the week before. I was really shocked by this news. Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat. Al-fatihah.

Year 2012 resolution

Since it is already end of the year.. another 2 days to go for another exciting new year. can't wait!! just like everyone else, i have listed my new year resolutions. below is the top 10..

1. get certified as SAP SD associate

2. lose weight (for the nth time)

3. get more money

4. start a business (no idea how to start)

5. move out

6. go to park every weekend

7. cook own food

8. learn to sew

9. get a nice deal

10. go for a vacation away from work

nice~ how about you?

Doa kami suami isteri

Ya Allah andai semua layak bagi kami,
cukupkanlah permohonan kami dengan ridho-Mu,
Jadikanlah kami sebagai suami istri yang saling mencintai dikala dekat,
saling menjaga kehormatan dikala jauh,
saling menghibur dikala duka,
saling mengingatkan dikala bahagia,
saling mendo’akan dalam kebaikan dan ketaqwaan,
saling menyempurnakan dalam peribadatan

Ya Allah sempurnakanlah kebahagian kami
dengan menjadikan perubahan ini sebagai ibadah kepada-Mu
dan bukti ketaatan serta cinta kami kepada Sunnah Rasul-Mu

Yaa Allah
Engkau mengetahui bahwa hati-hati ini
telah berhimpun dalam cinta pada-Mu,
telah berjumpa dalam taat pada-Mu,telah bersatu dalam dakwah-Mu,
telah berpadu dalam membela syari’at-Mu,
Kokohkanlah Yaa Allah ikatannya,
kekalkanlah cintanya, tunjukanlah jalan-jalannya
Penuhilah hati-hati ini
dengan Nur Cahaya-Mu yang tiada pernah pudar.
Lapangkanlah dada kami dengan limpahan keimanan pada-Mu,
dan keindahan bertawakal pada-Mu
Nyalakanlah hati kami dengan ma’rifat pada-Mu
Matikanlah dia dalam syahid di jalan-Mu
Sesungguhnya Engkaulah sebaik-baik pelindung
dan sebaik-baik penolong. Amin
Sampaikanlah kesejahteraan Yaa Allah,
pada junjungan kami Muhammad SAW,
keluarga, dan sahabat-sahabatnya,
dan limpahkanlah kepada mereka keselamatan.
Amien….

new entri

harini macam ada free time sikit untuk apdet blog.. sejak pindah keje baru nih.. keje banyak and kene la tunjuk rajin kan ..

bagi good impression. lagipon tgh in probation period until end of december. tempat baru nih not bad lah.. environment OK.. senyap.. tapi ofis ni sejuk giler.. saket hidung..

kalau pegi ofis kene pakai baju 2 lapis.. pastu pakai sweater lagi... pakai stokin lagi.... tapi still sejuk... lagi2 time bulan puase nih.. tapi nak kate tenaga takde. lemak banyak bleh tukar jadi haba... huhu

yang tak bestnyer… internet access very limited. Kat sini pakai terminal server.. sumer benda dier control.. boring.. buat keje kat ts lain. Nak surf internet kat ts lain… leceh betol… apekan daye.. I have to make do with what I got.

Puasa tahun ni same je macam tahun lepas.. berjimat cermat… sekali jer makan kat luar ngan bebudak muadzam… pastu ada la 2,3 kali potluck kat uma member.. selainnyer makan kat umah.. masak sendirik… sangat bajet.. ape2pon Alhamdulillah… ada jugak makanan untuk berbuka..

Kali ni takde beli lagi baju raya.. lagipun sepupu dah sedekahkan baju kurung anak dier walaupun agak besar.. tapi dah anta alter. Hehe… ada 2 pasang.. warna hijau lumut and maroon.. 2-2 pon aku dah ada baju kurung samer kaler walaupun design lain.. baju kurung lame jer.. tengah pk nak jahit manik kasi Nampak baru.. tapi aku ni bukanyer reti menjahit2 nih.. tak kisah lah wat simple2 jek pon jadik… mebi weekend nih shopping sket2 lepas dapat gaji.. nak cari tudung, brooch… brooch baju melayu, and kasut raya untuk aysha..

Macam tahun lepas jugak, raya tak kisah belah mane pon.. sebab kampong dekat2.. raya 1^st pon boleh pegi 2-2 belah beraya… tahun nih kene langkah panjang sket la bawak aysha beraya.. bleh kumpul duit raya sekali…kehkehkeh…

To My Friends Who Are - SINGLE 

Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes

you. But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect

it. Love can make you happy but often it hurts, but love's only special 

when you give it to someone who is really worth it. So take your time and choose the best.

To My Friends Who Are - NOT SO SINGLE 

Love isn't about becoming somebody else's "perfect person." It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be. 

To My Friends Who Are - PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE 

Never say "I love you" if you don't care. Never talk about feelings if

they aren't there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart.

Never look in the eye when all you do is nothing!

To My Friends Who Are - MARRIED 

Love is not about "it's your fault", but "I'm sorry." Not "where are

you", but "I'm right here." Not "how could you", but "I understand." Not "I wish you were", but "I'm thankful you are." 

To My Friends Who Are - ENGAGED 

The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but

how good you are for each other.

To My Friends Who Are - HEARTBROKEN 

Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them . 

To My Friends Who Are - NAIVE 

How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too

persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep the pain.

To My Friends Who Are - POSSESSIVE 

It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else

but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you. 

To My Friends Who Are - AFRAID TO CONFESS 

Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you Love has no idea how you feel. . . 

To My Friends Who Are - STILL HOLDING ON 

A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, only

to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have

wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it. If he/she isn't worth it now he's/She's not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now. Let go . . . 

TO ALL MY FRIENDS . . . 

My wish for you is a man/women whose love is honest, strong

,mature ,never-changing, uplifting, protective, encouraging,

rewarding and unselfish.

credit: http://www.tengkunizam.com/2010/03/love.html

Seorang anak laki-laki kecil bertanya kepada ibunya "Mengapa ibu menangis?"
"Kerana aku seorang wanita", kata sang ibu kepadanya.
"Aku tidak mengerti", kata anak itu.
Ibunya hanya memeluknya dan berkata, "Dan kau tak akan pernah mengerti"
Kemudian anak laki-laki itu bertanya kepada ayahnya, "Mengapa ibu suka menangis tanpa alasan?"
"Semua wanita menangis tanpa alasan", hanya itu yang dapat dikatakan oleh ayahnya.
Anak laki-laki kecil itu pun lalu membesar menjadi seorang laki-laki dewasa, tetap ingin tahu mengapa wanita menangis.
Akhirnya ia bermimpi dan bertanya pada Tuhan, "Tuhan, mengapa wanita begitu mudah menangis?"

Allah berfirman:

"Ketika Aku menciptakan seorang wanita, ia diharuskan untuk menjadi seorang yang istimewa. Aku membuat bahunya cukup kuat untuk menopang dunia; namun, harus cukup lembut untuk memberikan kenyamanan "

"Aku memberikannya kekuatan dari dalam untuk mampu melahirkan anak dan menerima penolakan yang seringkali datang dari anak-anaknya "

"Aku memberinya kekerasan untuk membuatnya tetap tegar ketika orang-orang lain menyerah, dan mengasuh keluarganya dengan penderitaan dan kelelahan tanpa mengeluh "

"Aku memberinya kepekaan untuk mencintai anak-anaknya dalam setiap keadaan, bahkan ketika anaknya bersikap sangat menyakiti hatinya "

"Aku memberinya kekuatan untuk mendukung suaminya dalam kegagalannya dan melengkapi dengan tulang rusuk suaminya untuk melindungi hatinya "

"Aku memberinya kebijaksanaan untuk mengetahui bahwa seorang suami yang baik takkan pernah menyakiti isterinya, tetapi kadang menguji kekuatannya dan ketetapan hatinya untuk berada disisi suaminya tanpa ragu"

"Dan akhirnya, Aku memberinya air mata untuk dititiskan dan ini adalah khusus miliknya untuk digunakan bilapun ia perlukan."

"Kau tahu; kecantikan seorang wanita bukanlah dari pakaian yang dikenakannya, susuk yang ia tampilkan, atau bagaimana ia menyisir rambutnya."

"Kecantikan seorang wanita harus dilihat dari matanya, kerana itulah pintu hatinya.. Tempat dimana cinta itu ada."